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I found out I was pregnant on March 20, 2001... this was a huge surprise to me and my than boyfriend of 2 years! We had so many plans and none of them included a baby! But we where so happy about the thought of having a new little one! Even though we had so many worries, we somehow knew everything would be okay!
2 days after the big news my Airforce boy friend found out that he got orders to move to Florida, we lived in Utah, and that is all I have ever known! It was very scary, we where unmarried, young, and scared.... but we got threw it... and again 2 days after that news he got down on his knee and asked me to be his wife... 3 mths later we where married... I was 5 mths pregnant with our beautiful little girl, and we had to be the happiest people in the whole wide world!
A few months later we packed our things and moved all the way to the other side of the US... we drove 4 days to what was going to be our new home, I was than 7 mths pregnant with our angel.
We decided that I was going to drive with to Florida to get settled in than I was to fly back to Utah, to have our baby close to family... and Dillon would fly later to be there for the birth of our little miricle!
I guess things don't always go as planned and a week after my return to Utah the Twin towers where taken out by terrorist.. I was so far from my husband scared pregnant and alone. They told us that Dillon would probably not be able to return to Utah for the birth... I had my baby shower and decided that my new family was Dillon and my baby, and that is all I needed. So I flew back to Florida 6 wks before my baby was due...
I got to our new home and prepaired my little girls room, set up her crib, hung her cloths, and everything else that comes during those last few weeks of pregnancy. I even hung a hand made woven sign with Skylee's name on the door to her room. I packed my bags took, my classes, and got my introduction to the L&D ward, so I knew all what to expect!
The last day with our angel......
It was November 24, 2001 the day after Thanksgiving. I was due the fallowing day, and we where excited! We set up the Christmas tree, and all the decorations. We rented "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and drank hot chocolate. We talked about how this was going to be our new family tradition, how we new our little girl would love this and how happy we where going to be when she was there to enjoy Christmas with us.
I was so excited because when I awoke in the morning it would be my due date! I couldn't wait to bring my little girl home!
I went to bed, though I couldn't sleep at all... I did sleep for about 20 min the whole night... and when I did I had a horrible night mare, I thought this strange because threw my whole pregnancy I only had good happy dreams of my life to be. That dream was of Grim reapers carrying candles and walking slowly tons of them! I didnt' know what this meant but sence I couldn't sleep I got up and went to chuch (it was a sunday) Durring the service I remember singing at the top of my lungs because I knew that I was singing to my baby, and I wanted uplifting things for her. But she didn't move all morning, even when i sang... and I knew this was not normal.
So instead of staying for the classes I chose to go home and see if eating something might get her moving.... but nothing. So I called the Hospital, and they told me to take a shower eat something and come right in. I woke my hubby and we took a shower and remenised on the thougth that we might be going to the hospital to have our little girl! I didn't take my bag cause I thougth well Dillon can come home for it if its time. I had NO idea that a compleatly healthy pregnancy could end like this on my due date no less!
As we walked up to the L&D we talked about, when we come to have the baby this and when we come to have the baby that... I still had no idea!
Well we got up there I got in a robe and layed down, it seemed like it took them forever to come back and put the moniter on.
A nurse came in and tried and tried to find her heart beat, with no luck! I started to feel a little queesy... but really I thought it was just her. So they got the ultra sound machine, and a mid wife came in to look. They pulled her up, and I looked and saw no heart beat, I still didn't even know something like this could happen so I thought it was just me... but still I looked away and called my hubby to hold my hand. I couldn't look at the screen anymore. I felt very sick at this point.
The mid wife said to me "I'm not finding what I want to here, Let me go get an OB" I was so confused!
When she left there was a cold silance in the room... Dillon and I just stared at eachother... Dr Henry came in the room and said "lets see what is going on here" and she looked at me... I still would not look at the screen. She said "have you ever seen an u/s of your baby before" I said yes I have, and she Replied " well this is her chest cavity, this is where her heart should be beating" I thought... Okay now show me where it is beating! Oh my gosh someone tell me what is going on!! She said Im sorry she is gone!
Oh my Gosh what?? your kidding get her out and save her! she is gone you can choose to be induced now or go home and go into natral labor if you would like... And she left to give us some time alone.
My Dillon colasped on the bed the whole hospital had to hear our cries! I got up and ran to the bathroom, and threw up..... I was so sick! I couldn't belive my little girl was gone!
I prayed "Please God PLEASE send my little girl back to me! And I left the bathroom and returned to my bed... Dr Henry came back in and asked me what we had decided.... I was to have her now.. well first I asked for a csection, and she told me that was not an option, I asked her to look at my baby one last time, just make sure her heart isn't beating... I just couldn't belive it!
Well I was induced and had my angel the fallowing morning after a very hard horrible labor, she was the most beautiful site I had ever seen, I couldnt stand the thought of parting with her. We held her and took pictures... It was the best and the worst day of my entire life..
She had a full head of dark dark hair, beautiful completion... and the most beautiful angel wings!
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